We Are The Worst People Alive

"I told Jake I felt like I was right next to the face of a Cliff, like Mrs. Huxtable. Jake claimed he..."

Mon, 31 Jan 2011 02:36:50 -0800

“I told Jake I felt like I was right next to the face of a Cliff, like
Mrs. Huxtable. Jake claimed he was closer to the edge and more about
to break than Bono in 1985.”

- Phil

a discussion about poker, farm workers

Fri, 15 Oct 2010 02:13:00 -0700

Phil: people who work in fields where they need to read people will always win
Phil: i have played 4 times, first 3 times i won money, this time i got broken.
me: you mean like in between picking strawberries?
me: seems like an odd choice in mags
Phil: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 11:31:00 -0700

Phil: buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh
Phil: fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuu
Phil: fufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufuufufuf
Me: \:D/
Me: Wheeeeee

<have you heard me mention that I hate Phil?>Phil: i want to email these people and be like...

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 17:36:00 -0700

<have you heard me mention that I hate Phil?>
Phil: i want to email these people and be like “your couch would look better if you hadn’t drawn numbers all over it”
Phil: now who is going to buy it?

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 10:41:10 -0700

Phil: headline: 'Obama meets with Pope Benedict for frank, constructive talks'
Phil: cool Obama had a hotdog with the pope and then talked about building stuff

Sorry its been so long. Dont worry, still have the worst brain around; to wit: travyo: will never...

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 19:41:44 -0700

Sorry its been so long. Dont worry, still have the worst brain around; to wit:

travyo: will never buy another VW. I’ve owned a beetle, golf, & westie and loved every one but my wife’s ‘06 Passat has chronic issues. Lame!

joeym: @travyo do you mean you have a stack of these http://bit.ly/ARZR6 in the trunk?

via twittard natch.

Someone: Girls are always talking about finding a soul mates...

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 16:42:00 -0700
Someone: Girls are always talking about finding a soul mates...

Jake: Korean Sailors?

A while ago I sent this reply to an email in my inbox: Dear xxxplosive_satchel87866, When I first...

Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:12:43 -0700

A while ago I sent this reply to an email in my inbox:

Dear xxxplosive_satchel87866,

When I first received your most recent email I was filled with delight for, not only am I president of the local ornithologist chapter, but also I took a trip to France in the first year of my marriage 30 years ago. What I remember most were the small birds flitting around Notre Dame playing amongst the tourists and Parisians alike.

However upon clicking on the link “Paris Swallows” I was entirely surprised at the video that loaded. I am afraid you have had a mix up in your address book. Please do correct it as I do not believe my heart can take any future videos in this genre.

Yours,

Horace “laser_scepter[420Blitzzz]” Whilmont

Mon, 16 Mar 2009 15:42:30 -0700

Beth: Anyway, the last time I was under anesthesia...
Phil: What a minute what?! Since when are you getting with Russian girls? This changes everything!

http://veryserious.org/2009/03/review/the-watchmen#comment-17296

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 13:43:00 -0700
http://veryserious.org/2009/03/review/the-watchmen#comment-17296:
I think this is probably a good example of me at my worst.

Andy: and drives me nuts.

Fri, 06 Mar 2009 18:50:00 -0800
Andy: and drives me nuts.
Jon: An inline 6 cyclinder 2.8 liter engine drives my nuts.

My homie Jon recently purchased a BMW is the thing. I wish there was an emoticon for . I guess there is "orz" which will have to do.

Phil: i get really worked up about things i don't like too but they're very specific things, you get more worked up over broad principles

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 19:35:27 -0800
Phil: i get really worked up about things i don't like too but they're very specific things, you get more worked up over broad principles
Phil: not to say your concerns are more or less valid than mine
Phil: but i just noticed it
Joe: Like "don't sleep with the dude on the first date"?
Phil: Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
Phil: crying
Joe: booo yaaaaa

A while ago I was playing Trivial Pursuit with my friend Phil and some others. For one of the...

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 14:29:00 -0800

A while ago I was playing Trivial Pursuit with my friend Phil and some others. For one of the questions the answer was “Stamp Collectors”. Phil responded with:

Oh wow, I had thought the answer would be wine-makers. I guess I stamp collected.

Just typing this out makes me want to find a hammer then find Phil then apply the former to the latter. Vigorously.

This is from the comments over at very serious. Phil: Ching...

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 21:28:00 -0800

This is from the comments over at very serious.
Phil: Ching you shouldn’t wear one-piece bathing suits that pop off, it could get you in trouble at the beach! Waaaaaaah! Also since you are pregnant you should dress like M.I.A.

Joe: In rags?

Phil: No Joe, I don’t mean like she is missing in action. When I read your comment I wrote your name on a piece of paper and then punched the paper.

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 20:47:09 -0800

Joe: It has left its indelible stain on your argument
Phil: No it's delible!